Happy Monday Novas! Thank you for reading my entry into round 1 of the Blogger Blitz competition, hosted by Adventure Rules! Round 1 will be between myself and Teri Mae and we are fighting to see which of our characters will be the best at the Matchmaker Competition!
Rules: The rules of the Blogger Blitz is simple, we were randomly drawn out of a bowl to find out our opponents and challenge. The challengers submitted their character of choice before hand and this character will be used each round that you advance. Once you receive your topic and opponent, you will write a post 500 words or less explaining why your character would win over the other opponent. Then neutral judges will read each post and vote on a winner!
“So I’m supposed to be providing a match for whatever this malboro person is, let’s take a look at his appear… AHHHHH! I drop the envelope with the picture of the malboro as the stench fills the air.
“Who in the world can I persuade to date this odious plant!” My devious smile curled all the way up to my eyes as I pick up the phone. “This has got to be my best idea yet!
Hello? Ivy? Ivy doll, I’ve got a job for you… Bwahahahaha hahahahah HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA.”
“Now listen, all you have to do is put on that charm of yours and spray some feremones and he’ll be eating out of your hands.”
Ivy’s twisted glance to me indicates that she knows I’m not planning a normal matchmaking. “Uhhuh and then what, Joker? I know you’re not in this to make someone else happy. What do you get out of this arrangement?”
Dang, it. She’s on to me. ” HA, you’ve got me doll. I’ve heard that the Malboro has an estate bigger than our friendly, neighborhood Bat! I want to have an unlimited resource of money.”
“I could use some cash. Fine, but he’s not to be hurt Joker, I mean it!”
She looks like she’s serious. No way I can persuade her to torch that plant after the ceremony. “Alright, if you insist.” The devious smile never left my face as I told her the plans.
Look at this putrid plant sitting on top of the alter, does he have no respect. I clear my throat. “Mr. Malboro sir, I’m sure you’re going to love the mate that I have found for you.” Oh my gosh that stench. I turn away to breath into a paper bag and quickly call Poison Ivy to me.
“Ah, this is Poi… um Ivy. This is Ivy!”
I can’t believe she’s actually going to marry that thing. Well, pretty soon I will be rolling in the dough. My watch is ticking too slow, come on, come on….
“You may now kiss the bride!”
“Yes! Woohooo… Congrats Ivy!” Silence. Oh yea, this is an improptu wedding and not many people are here.
“Why are you screaming?” Ivy looks like she suspects.
“I’m just happy that everyone has found love and that I’ve won a bet. Now you crazy kids have fun on your honeymoon!” I push them out of the door and hand them the keys to a special present.
“You’re wedding present, doll. You’re very own IVYMOBILE! I had it custom made to help you with photosynthesis or whatever it is that you plant folk do.”
Shes not laughing. I shrug my shoulder and shoo the lovebirds along.
They drive off in a puff of flowers and nectar, I had that personally installed. I can feel emotion and joy on this wedding day. I can feel the tears building up.
A big explosion in the direction of Ivy and Malboro.
“This is the happiest day of my life! I’m rich!” The tears are like waterfalls now.